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Welcome to The Literary Pig's blog - a safe haven for all those afflicted with
the unbearable urge to write.

Wednesday 20 August 2014

Toil and trouble

At a secret location (we believe it was somewhere in darkest Sussex) three top international super spies met for their annual coven (sorry, that should be convention) to discuss world literary domination. Our agent believed they were posing under cover as writers (who'd fall for that one!) and overhead the dastardly trio discussing such topics as alien abduction (Agony Christie, centre, had the scar to prove it), how to eat a Devon cream tea (the jam HAS to go on before the cream, which MUST be clotted) and murder! Yes, this innocent group of women (don't fall for those smiles) happily shared killing methods and how to avoid the well-worn theme.

Please be vigilant and watch out for these plotting scoundrels, they could appear in your area at any time. No village teashop is safe. KJ Rolling Pin (far left) regular appears under a pseudonym in popular women's magazines pretending to write short stories, as does her arch rival Agony Christie. Whereas the infamous Hilary Mantelpiece (right) masquerades as a writer of quirky flash and short fiction. Don't be fooled! These are dangerous individuals - they will assault you with publication statistics without hesitation. If spotted then approach with caution, but only if you are prepared to endure several hours of rejection rants, which can turn nasty ...

The truth is stranger than fiction.... or is it? If your like your fiction to be well-rounded, you might like to read my friends' accounts here and here for the whole story.

The photograph above was taken (at great personal risk) by our agent G (his real name can't be released for his own safety). However, G was later seen leaving the establishment in the company of Agony Christie ... hmm could he be a double agent?


20 comments:

  1. Most amusing post, Tracy - looks like a fun meet up!

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  2. They definitely look like they're plotting! I think you're right about G as I've seen him loitering around other groups of writers in tea shops. Reckon he's on to something.

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    1. Be vigilant, Patsy. He has been spotted in your neck of the woods too ...

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  3. They certainly look a pretty rum bunch. I hear there were warnings put out before their arrival.

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    1. Well, the rest of the venue looks pretty empty. Guess everyone else scarpered, Wendy!

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  4. I was a bit worried to learn that some people might consider putting cream on before jam. NO! I'm sure you all did this the correct way.

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    1. Shocking, but sadly all too true. I think these people really do need help, Lindsay.

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  5. The plot thickens - just like the cream.

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  6. The first scene in Macbeth comes to mind. Hubble, bubble, toil & trouble ....

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    1. Hmm now what on earth made you think of that, Sally? I think the broomsticks are just out of shot ...

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  7. Totally bonkers, all three of you!

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    1. Yes, but being 'bonkers' is mandatory for writers, isn't it, Linda? (I've got it in my job description.)

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  8. Hi Tracy - sounds like an excellent meet up for the three writerly friends .. and I love the telling of it - cream tea sounds excellent idea - as long as the murders can be kept away ...

    Cheers Hilary

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    1. It was a lovely day, Hilary. Always good to meet some fellow writers (and nutters).

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  9. LOL love it! Always great to meet up with other writers.

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    1. Definitely! Writing can be a lonely business so I'm never one to miss an opportunity to get out of the house (and eat cake ...).

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  10. Replies
    1. Thank you for popping by. Glad you enjoyed the post :)

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